Friday, February 13, 2009

Chris Brown, Rihanna and What You Can Do

Over the last week, we've heard some pretty nasty things about the relationship between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Now, since this is America there is the presumption of innocence so this blog isn't to establish the guilt of either party. But this is an opportunity to discuss the continued problem of domestic violence.

Who did what to whom is going to be sorted out in court, but even as I write this, there is a domestic partner needs to leave the other because of abuse. It comes in many forms: physical, verbal, mental and more. If you're suffering, please understand that you don't not have to take it and that there is a way out. Your abuser wants to convince you that you can't do anything about what's happening, but he's using it to continue the cycle.

It is documented that domestic abuse is about control. That control is forced through domination, humiliation, intimidation, denial and blame. Abuse victims routinely think that what is happening to them is their own fault and nothing could be further from the truth. If a partner leads you to believe that, or tries to tell you that you can't go anywhere because no one will want you, they are lying.

Does your partner:
humiliate you
ignore your views
treat you as property
act possessively
control what you do
limit access to friends, money, phone

If any of those fit you, find your way out. Start here for more information. There are resources in most areas in the country. Find them and get help. If you don't know where to go, try here to start.

The end result of the Rihanna - Chris Brown situation is going to be long and on-going and possibly embarrassing to both of them as details of their private lives come to the forefront. Their celebrity and their money will not shield them from that. Don't continue to be a victim.

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