Are you doing New Years resolutions? It’s that magical time of year when we promise ourselves that we’re going to do better. Results are mixed, to put it diplomatically. As for me, I’m going to begin 2014 by making people angry without intention. But in order to put myself in a higher place, a form of self-care is in order.
The people who will be angry with me, starting with this article, are not at fault and that point should be stressed. The blame lies within the writer.
You see, I have acquainted myself with people who think that others are responsible for their happiness. I have fed this kind thinking by doing everything I can to make them happy. It makes some of my best moods are just middling. If they could be tracked by a data graph, there would be little deviation from the center line.
On the one hand, that’s good because it keeps the deeper blues at bay but at the same time it also tempers the higher vibrations. During those moments, shouldn’t we try to get on the crest of that wave? That hasn’t been happening and it should.
It’s a bad example to set for my son because by mimicking me, he may think he’s doing the right thing. He already gets down on himself by declaring that he can’t make anyone happy. What he doesn’t realize is there’s truth in that statement.
When he delivers the line, it’s in a downtrodden tone indicating he feels bad about a certain action or outcome that isn’t in another persons favor.
But the correct way to deliver it is from the perspective of truth. He can’t make anyone happy. That’s because happiness comes from within the individual. The beauty of it is that the capacity for happiness is in the DNA. Examine babies. There is joy in so much of what they do, see and experience. Ill humor doesn’t come until it’s beaten and berated into us.
The happiness is still there. It’s just up to us to see it, then live it.
To those who see this and question if it’s about them, it probably is. People know when they put another in a bad mood. I apologize for how it makes you feel. It’s the kind of negative emotion I’m trying to work my way out of. It’s not a deliberate attempt to make you feel bad. It’s an attempt to make me feel better.
To begin, I go back to The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
There’s no better place to start.